How to deal with frustration

[Adam Lea]

Last Friday evening, I was directing at my local club and was playing
with a scratch partner, who is lovely, but we had one of those evenings
where everything seemed to go wrong. Almost every time I had one of two
seemingly reasonable choices to make, I made the one which gave us a bad
score. I had rather poor hands on average throughout the evening and the
opponents bid pretty much everything that was there for them, and I
frequently ended up defending with a plan that looked like taking off
their contract, only to find it was cold all along. Partner did a couple
of strange things which explained a couple of bad scores but largely, it
was a case of pass,pass,pass,pass,lead,follow suit,follow suit,follow
suit,BOTTOM. 9 out of 26 boards were less than 20%, and 19 out of 26
boards were less than or equal to 50%, with only 6 boards over 60%. We
finished the evening with 38% which is the lowest score for me so far
this year, and I think the lowest for many years. I felt increasingly
frustrated as the evening and it ultimately showed, the opponents
teasing me about this just made me feel worse. Can anyone suggest how to
get over it when I am having a real downer of an evening, and would some
people be ok with helping me out on the occasional hand where I really
did not know how I could have done better, or where my logic was wrong?

The only saving grace I can think of is that evenings that bad are very
rare, and next time it will be better. 38% is an extremely poor result
for me as a rule, I am not an expert player but at the same time I am
not THAT bad.

Thanks

Adam

[p***@gmail.com]

Post by Adam Lea
Last Friday evening, I was directing at my local club and was playing
with a scratch partner, who is lovely, but we had one of those evenings
where everything seemed to go wrong. Almost every time I had one of two
seemingly reasonable choices to make, I made the one which gave us a bad
score. I had rather poor hands on average throughout the evening and the
opponents bid pretty much everything that was there for them, and I
frequently ended up defending with a plan that looked like taking off
their contract, only to find it was cold all along. Partner did a couple
of strange things which explained a couple of bad scores but largely, it
was a case of pass,pass,pass,pass,lead,follow suit,follow suit,follow
suit,BOTTOM. 9 out of 26 boards were less than 20%, and 19 out of 26
boards were less than or equal to 50%, with only 6 boards over 60%. We
finished the evening with 38% which is the lowest score for me so far
this year, and I think the lowest for many years. I felt increasingly
frustrated as the evening and it ultimately showed, the opponents
teasing me about this just made me feel worse. Can anyone suggest how to
get over it when I am having a real downer of an evening, and would some
people be ok with helping me out on the occasional hand where I really
did not know how I could have done better, or where my logic was wrong?
The only saving grace I can think of is that evenings that bad are very
rare, and next time it will be better. 38% is an extremely poor result
for me as a rule, I am not an expert player but at the same time I am
not THAT bad.
Thanks
Adam

That sucks Adam! Sorry to hear about the bad luck swing, it is indeed frustrating for just about anyone, except a computer program. But here's some advice, maybe it'll help you. There are TWO games taking place while you play bridge: the card game and the psychological game. The card game gets officially scored and you see you got a 38%. The psychological game is not scored. You don't go home knowing you scored X% for your psychological handling of the whims of fate during the evening. But this is a real, tangible game that you are playing against all the other opponents in the club. Bridge is a lot like boxing. Good boxers can take hit after hit but they don't go down because the hits don't "get to them". Bridge punches you again and again and good psychological players build up a resistance to it over time. A beginner gets one bottome and gets discouraged for the rest of the evening. A mid-level player can "weather" one bottom, but hit him with three bottoms in a row and he'll fall apart. Once your "card game score" becomes hopeless (e.g. you'll score below 50% even if you get tops on the next 10 boards) then it's time to forget about the card game entirely, and focus purely on building mental, psychological resistance, which will help you on all future bad hands. We have to find some way for you to build up that resistance. I think a string of enough bottoms in a row, particularly unwarranted, would knock anyone down, but get just enough to wobble you but then psychologically "get back up again" and it'll increase your resistance in the future. Hopefully you'll find the right mindset to build this resistance. Good luck.

[Fred.]

Post by Adam Lea
Last Friday evening, I was directing at my local club and was playing
with a scratch partner, who is lovely, but we had one of those evenings
where everything seemed to go wrong. Almost every time I had one of two
seemingly reasonable choices to make, I made the one which gave us a bad
score. I had rather poor hands on average throughout the evening and the
opponents bid pretty much everything that was there for them, and I
frequently ended up defending with a plan that looked like taking off
their contract, only to find it was cold all along. Partner did a couple
of strange things which explained a couple of bad scores but largely, it
was a case of pass,pass,pass,pass,lead,follow suit,follow suit,follow
suit,BOTTOM. 9 out of 26 boards were less than 20%, and 19 out of 26
boards were less than or equal to 50%, with only 6 boards over 60%. We
finished the evening with 38% which is the lowest score for me so far
this year, and I think the lowest for many years. I felt increasingly
frustrated as the evening and it ultimately showed, the opponents
teasing me about this just made me feel worse. Can anyone suggest how to
get over it when I am having a real downer of an evening, and would some
people be ok with helping me out on the occasional hand where I really
did not know how I could have done better, or where my logic was wrong?
The only saving grace I can think of is that evenings that bad are very
rare, and next time it will be better. 38% is an extremely poor result
for me as a rule, I am not an expert player but at the same time I am
not THAT bad.
Thanks
Adam

My view is that it's best to get all the bad luck in the
same session.

Fred.

[jogs]

Post by Fred.
My view is that it's best to get all the bad luck in the
same session.
Fred.

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Every good and
bad result may lead to a new norm. Meaning after a bad
result you may play much worst than you thought. After a
unusually good result, you probably have not improved
that much.

[Fred.]

Post by jogs

Post by Fred.
My view is that it's best to get all the bad luck in the
same session.
Fred.

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Every good and
bad result may lead to a new norm. Meaning after a bad
result you may play much worst than you thought. After a
unusually good result, you probably have not improved
that much.

The real point is that if the partnership can write off a
bad session to bad luck or an off night or whatever then
it can avoid the error of trying to fix everything in the
next session.

Fred.

[Travis Crump]

Post by Adam Lea
Last Friday evening, I was directing at my local club and was playing
with a scratch partner, who is lovely, but we had one of those evenings
where everything seemed to go wrong. Almost every time I had one of two
seemingly reasonable choices to make, I made the one which gave us a bad
score. I had rather poor hands on average throughout the evening and the
opponents bid pretty much everything that was there for them, and I
frequently ended up defending with a plan that looked like taking off
their contract, only to find it was cold all along. Partner did a couple
of strange things which explained a couple of bad scores but largely, it
was a case of pass,pass,pass,pass,lead,follow suit,follow suit,follow
suit,BOTTOM. 9 out of 26 boards were less than 20%, and 19 out of 26
boards were less than or equal to 50%, with only 6 boards over 60%. We
finished the evening with 38% which is the lowest score for me so far
this year, and I think the lowest for many years. I felt increasingly
frustrated as the evening and it ultimately showed, the opponents
teasing me about this just made me feel worse. Can anyone suggest how to
get over it when I am having a real downer of an evening, and would some
people be ok with helping me out on the occasional hand where I really
did not know how I could have done better, or where my logic was wrong?
The only saving grace I can think of is that evenings that bad are very
rare, and next time it will be better. 38% is an extremely poor result
for me as a rule, I am not an expert player but at the same time I am
not THAT bad.
Thanks
Adam

These things happen. Especially in small games it is possible to get
near zeros for normal results[or near tops] though at least 13 tables
shouldn't be too bad in this regard. Getting 40% instead of 60% for all
the normal results can really kill a game too. I'd suggest not trying to
discuss hands or estimate your game during the game especially if you
will be able to discuss the hands after the game. Don't try to get a
hand(s) back. If it's not your night, it isn't your night, but who knows
you could be scoring better than you might think.

Also, not sure why the opponents would be teasing you. Is this a
barometer? Usually when I tell the opponents I'm having a horrible game
they don't believe me, and I'm frequently/usually wrong anyway.

Travis

[Adam Lea]

Post by Travis Crump
Also, not sure why the opponents would be teasing you. Is this a
barometer? Usually when I tell the opponents I'm having a horrible game
they don't believe me, and I'm frequently/usually wrong anyway.
Travis

It is friendly teasing, trying to see the funny side (which is easy when
it is not you on the receiving end lol). It is more a problem with me
and low self esteem; repeated bad scores and wrong decisions erodes self
confidence and can leave me feeling quite low at the end of the evening.
I'll have to mentally toughen myself up, or possibly seek therapy.

[Douglas Newlands]

Post by Adam Lea

Post by Travis Crump
Also, not sure why the opponents would be teasing you. Is this a
barometer? Usually when I tell the opponents I'm having a horrible game
they don't believe me, and I'm frequently/usually wrong anyway.
Travis

It is friendly teasing, trying to see the funny side (which is easy when
it is not you on the receiving end lol). It is more a problem with me
and low self esteem; repeated bad scores and wrong decisions erodes self
confidence and can leave me feeling quite low at the end of the evening.
I'll have to mentally toughen myself up, or possibly seek therapy.

Take up golf. Your playing partners at golf are always sympathetic.
Often the opposite of bridge.

The japanese martial arts view is that if you are nervous about combat,
you haven't practised enough.
Maybe you need to spend some time with good textbooks (and there are
so many that aren't) and get your technique up to a higher level.

Lastly, it's a club night, don't worry about the overall score, just try
and enjoy 24, or so, little puzzles.

doug

[Steve Willner]

Post by Douglas Newlands
Lastly, it's a club night, don't worry about the overall score, just try
and enjoy 24, or so, little puzzles.

This is key and maybe could use a little amplification. The important
thing is to set reasonable objectives. For me, those would be something
like:
1. have fun, including a few laughs.
2. learn or notice something new about the game.
3. make fewer blunders than my quota.
4. do something better than normal.

Last night was our club's annual individual game (congratulations,
Barry!), where I didn't manage number 3 (expletive deleted) but did the
others. The highlight for me was partnering one of our permanent
beginners, who made a very thoughtful bid that was missed by everyone
else who held his cards. Try it:

You are constrained to be playing generic standard American with an
unfamiliar but sometimes competent partner for two boards of a
matchpoint individual event. At green (not vul against vul), you pick
up AT9 AJ9 AKQ73 QJ. LHO deals and passes, partner opens 1C, and RHO
passes. Opponents will pass throughout. You are not playing SJS so are
forced to bid 1D. Partner rebids 2C. What's your bidding plan,
including followups to likely actions by partner? And what do you think
a permanent beginner might do, given that he did very well?

[Douglas Newlands]

Post by Steve Willner

Post by Douglas Newlands
Lastly, it's a club night, don't worry about the overall score, just try
and enjoy 24, or so, little puzzles.

This is key and maybe could use a little amplification. The important
thing is to set reasonable objectives. For me, those would be something
1. have fun, including a few laughs.
2. learn or notice something new about the game.
3. make fewer blunders than my quota.
4. do something better than normal.

Make sure you make a plan before you play.
Always be aware of what you are playing for when you pull a card.
It's very common to to see declarer leading small towards AQ10x
and when next hand plays a small card, they go into the tank.
For me that's just waving a big flag saying "I don't have a plan"
otherwise I would know what I was doing when I led the small card.

Unfortunately, nobody can teach you to play or defend. Sure, pros
will charge money to teach you bits of technique but the key is
knowing when to use it and they don't teach that.
You have to teach yourself to think using the correct textbooks
and pick up some technique on the way.

Post by Steve Willner
Last night was our club's annual individual game (congratulations,
Barry!), where I didn't manage number 3 (expletive deleted) but did the
others. The highlight for me was partnering one of our permanent
beginners, who made a very thoughtful bid that was missed by everyone
You are constrained to be playing generic standard American with an
unfamiliar but sometimes competent partner for two boards of a
matchpoint individual event. At green (not vul against vul), you pick
up AT9 AJ9 AKQ73 QJ. LHO deals and passes, partner opens 1C, and RHO
passes. Opponents will pass throughout. You are not playing SJS so are
forced to bid 1D. Partner rebids 2C. What's your bidding plan,
including followups to likely actions by partner? And what do you think
a permanent beginner might do, given that he did very well?

5NT hoping for a 7C response?

doug

[Steve Willner]

Post by Douglas Newlands

Post by Steve Willner
AT9 AJ9 AKQ73 QJ
1C 1D
2C ?

5NT hoping for a 7C response?

You're on the right track, but I doubt a permanent beginner has ever
heard of Josephine or ever will.

The first step should have been easy to guess. With a strong hand and
nothing else obvious, it's always Blackwood. I responded 5H showing two
keycards and no queen, and now PB made the spectacular bid of 5NT to
promise all the keycards present. That let me bid the easy 7C with
KJ8 K4 2 AKT8642. No doubt you'd get to 7NT with your regular partner,
but apparently nobody else found the thoughtful 5NT bid. I think this
deal made his evening, and it certainly made mine.

[p***@infi.net]

Post by Steve Willner

Post by Douglas Newlands

Post by Steve Willner
AT9 AJ9 AKQ73 QJ
1C 1D
2C ?

5NT hoping for a 7C response?

You're on the right track, but I doubt a permanent beginner has ever
heard of Josephine or ever will.
The first step should have been easy to guess. With a strong hand and
nothing else obvious, it's always Blackwood. I responded 5H showing two
keycards and no queen, and now PB made the spectacular bid of 5NT to
promise all the keycards present. That let me bid the easy 7C with
KJ8 K4 2 AKT8642. No doubt you'd get to 7NT with your regular partner,
but apparently nobody else found the thoughtful 5NT bid. I think this
deal made his evening, and it certainly made mine.

Not every Life Novice realizes that 5NT promises all the key cards. I've certainly seen it bid when missing one, perhaps planning to bid 6NT if all the Kings are held.

[Adam Lea]

Post by p***@infi.net

Post by Steve Willner

Post by Douglas Newlands

Post by Steve Willner
AT9 AJ9 AKQ73 QJ
1C 1D
2C ?

5NT hoping for a 7C response?

You're on the right track, but I doubt a permanent beginner has ever
heard of Josephine or ever will.
The first step should have been easy to guess. With a strong hand and
nothing else obvious, it's always Blackwood. I responded 5H showing two
keycards and no queen, and now PB made the spectacular bid of 5NT to
promise all the keycards present. That let me bid the easy 7C with
KJ8 K4 2 AKT8642. No doubt you'd get to 7NT with your regular partner,
but apparently nobody else found the thoughtful 5NT bid. I think this
deal made his evening, and it certainly made mine.

Not every Life Novice realizes that 5NT promises all the key cards. I've certainly seen it bid when missing one, perhaps planning to bid 6NT if all the Kings are held.

I wasn't aware of this, although I can see the logic in it I wouldn't
automatically assume any partner I played with would know this.
Certainly none of the perma-novices at my local bridge club would know
this, half of them can barely manage asking for aces in the first place.
The rank beginners struggle to remember what Blackwood is.

[David Goldfarb]

Post by p***@infi.net
Not every Life Novice realizes that 5NT promises all the key cards. I've
certainly seen it bid when missing one, perhaps planning to bid 6NT if
all the Kings are held.

Kit Woolsey plays that 5NT can indeed be missing a key, when asker can
get out in 6NT.

[jogs]

.

Post by p***@infi.net
Not every Life Novice realizes that 5NT promises all the key cards. I've certainly seen it bid when missing one, perhaps planning to bid 6NT if all the Kings are held.

It's worst than that. One of my partners who is a gold life master refuses to agree that 5NT promises all the key cards.

[Will in New Haven]

Post by jogs
.

Post by p***@infi.net
Not every Life Novice realizes that 5NT promises all the key cards. I've certainly seen it bid when missing one, perhaps planning to bid 6NT if all the Kings are held.

It's worst than that. One of my partners who is a gold life master refuses to agree that 5NT promises all the key cards.

I don't know that "worse than that" applies. I like 5NT to guarantee all the key cards but there are some good players who don't. Apparently they value the more frequent suit versus NT decision over the grand slam decision. I don't agree, you don't agree but I don't know that it is worse.

[Steve Willner]

Post by p***@infi.net
Not every Life Novice realizes that 5NT promises all the key cards.

I'm sure you are right, but I choose to remain in my state of blissful
ignorance as regards the player in question. As I wrote earlier, his
bid made my night, and I take my "victories" where I can find them.

[Adam Lea]

Post by Steve Willner

Post by Douglas Newlands
Lastly, it's a club night, don't worry about the overall score, just try
and enjoy 24, or so, little puzzles.

This is key and maybe could use a little amplification. The important
thing is to set reasonable objectives. For me, those would be something
1. have fun, including a few laughs.
2. learn or notice something new about the game.
3. make fewer blunders than my quota.
4. do something better than normal.

I'm managing to fail o the first two of those so far. Last night was the
second filthy evening in a week, barely scraped above 40% and that was
with a regular partner. Average HCP strength per hand well below 10, and
only declared twice in 24 boards. One of the really annoying boards was
when partner opened 1S, RHO jump overcalled 3D, explained as weak, I
passed with the usual 7 count, round to partner who bid 3S. RHO then bid
4D and I did a pairs principle double (only had xx in spades, but had
values in C+H and thought we were getting robbed, people who re-preempt
deserve to get smacked for a number, so I think). As I am about to lead,
RHO states that her 3D bid was strong, which meant she misbid, her
partner gave the correct explanation. Despite dummy's flat 2 count, 4Dx
made +1 for -610 and a bottom. Other annoying bottoms were when the
opponents bid freely to 3NT and 6NT and get a top because the room is in
4S/6S for 10 points less.

It is currently very hard for me to see the funny side of evenings like
this (will probably be having psychotherapy in the new year which might
help).

[p***@infi.net]

Post by Adam Lea

Post by Steve Willner

Post by Douglas Newlands
Lastly, it's a club night, don't worry about the overall score, just try
and enjoy 24, or so, little puzzles.

This is key and maybe could use a little amplification. The important
thing is to set reasonable objectives. For me, those would be something
1. have fun, including a few laughs.
2. learn or notice something new about the game.
3. make fewer blunders than my quota.
4. do something better than normal.

I'm managing to fail o the first two of those so far. Last night was the
second filthy evening in a week, barely scraped above 40% and that was
with a regular partner. Average HCP strength per hand well below 10, and
only declared twice in 24 boards. One of the really annoying boards was
when partner opened 1S, RHO jump overcalled 3D, explained as weak, I
passed with the usual 7 count, round to partner who bid 3S. RHO then bid
4D and I did a pairs principle double (only had xx in spades, but had
values in C+H and thought we were getting robbed, people who re-preempt
deserve to get smacked for a number, so I think). As I am about to lead,
RHO states that her 3D bid was strong, which meant she misbid, her
partner gave the correct explanation. Despite dummy's flat 2 count, 4Dx
made +1 for -610 and a bottom. Other annoying bottoms were when the
opponents bid freely to 3NT and 6NT and get a top because the room is in
4S/6S for 10 points less.
It is currently very hard for me to see the funny side of evenings like
this (will probably be having psychotherapy in the new year which might
help).

I took Zoloft for about two years. I'm very glad it was available to break the cycle of depression and suicidal thoughts, I'm very, very glad my psychiatrist was dead wrong about my needing to be on something for the rest of my life. And let me mention two drugs that induced depression and anxiety when I took them: Claritan (for allergies) and Timolol (for glaucoma.) Both were effective for what they were intended to treat and intolerable in side effects. Zoloft was pretty awful as well, but better than suicide. Good luck and God bless as you seek help.

[p***@infi.net]

Post by Adam Lea
Last Friday evening, I was directing at my local club and was playing
with a scratch partner, who is lovely, but we had one of those evenings
where everything seemed to go wrong. Almost every time I had one of two
seemingly reasonable choices to make, I made the one which gave us a bad
score. I had rather poor hands on average throughout the evening and the
opponents bid pretty much everything that was there for them, and I
frequently ended up defending with a plan that looked like taking off
their contract, only to find it was cold all along. Partner did a couple
of strange things which explained a couple of bad scores but largely, it
was a case of pass,pass,pass,pass,lead,follow suit,follow suit,follow
suit,BOTTOM. 9 out of 26 boards were less than 20%, and 19 out of 26
boards were less than or equal to 50%, with only 6 boards over 60%. We
finished the evening with 38% which is the lowest score for me so far
this year, and I think the lowest for many years. I felt increasingly
frustrated as the evening and it ultimately showed, the opponents
teasing me about this just made me feel worse. Can anyone suggest how to
get over it when I am having a real downer of an evening, and would some
people be ok with helping me out on the occasional hand where I really
did not know how I could have done better, or where my logic was wrong?
The only saving grace I can think of is that evenings that bad are very
rare, and next time it will be better. 38% is an extremely poor result
for me as a rule, I am not an expert player but at the same time I am
not THAT bad.
Thanks
Adam

I tend to play each hand on its own, and not worry about how well we are doing. The last time I had a 38% game was with a Gold Life Master as partner. We left the game laughing at ourselves. If you made reasonable choices, don't worry too much about the results.

Two of my most memorable hands:
(1) The day our club decided to celebrate our Gold Life Masters, I found myself on lead against 7H on an auction where our two GLM opponents had bid clubs, diamonds, hearts, Blackwood and finally the grand. I followed the usual advice of leading a "safe" trump against a grand, but when dummy came down it was obvious that GLM North had miscounted Aces! Declarer pulled trumps and pitched spade losers on her side suit. My partner, holding the Ace of Spades, understood that there was no way to ask me to lead a spade. I simply commented that I hoped I would be able to bid that well if I ever made GLM, and everyone had a good laugh.

(2) Against 6H, I made the killing lead of a spade. Declarer grimly called for the Ace from dummy, and resigned herself to the losing trump finesse. I returned a harmless club, so declarer pulled trumps and claimed. Why didn't I lead another spade? Alas, I had a singleton! We all had a good laugh.

[Adam Lea]

Post by p***@infi.net

Post by Adam Lea
Last Friday evening, I was directing at my local club and was playing
with a scratch partner, who is lovely, but we had one of those evenings
where everything seemed to go wrong. Almost every time I had one of two
seemingly reasonable choices to make, I made the one which gave us a bad
score. I had rather poor hands on average throughout the evening and the
opponents bid pretty much everything that was there for them, and I
frequently ended up defending with a plan that looked like taking off
their contract, only to find it was cold all along. Partner did a couple
of strange things which explained a couple of bad scores but largely, it
was a case of pass,pass,pass,pass,lead,follow suit,follow suit,follow
suit,BOTTOM. 9 out of 26 boards were less than 20%, and 19 out of 26
boards were less than or equal to 50%, with only 6 boards over 60%. We
finished the evening with 38% which is the lowest score for me so far
this year, and I think the lowest for many years. I felt increasingly
frustrated as the evening and it ultimately showed, the opponents
teasing me about this just made me feel worse. Can anyone suggest how to
get over it when I am having a real downer of an evening, and would some
people be ok with helping me out on the occasional hand where I really
did not know how I could have done better, or where my logic was wrong?
The only saving grace I can think of is that evenings that bad are very
rare, and next time it will be better. 38% is an extremely poor result
for me as a rule, I am not an expert player but at the same time I am
not THAT bad.
Thanks
Adam

I tend to play each hand on its own, and not worry about how well we are doing. The last time I had a 38% game was with a Gold Life Master as partner. We left the game laughing at ourselves. If you made reasonable choices, don't worry too much about the results.
(1) The day our club decided to celebrate our Gold Life Masters, I found myself on lead against 7H on an auction where our two GLM opponents had bid clubs, diamonds, hearts, Blackwood and finally the grand. I followed the usual advice of leading a "safe" trump against a grand, but when dummy came down it was obvious that GLM North had miscounted Aces! Declarer pulled trumps and pitched spade losers on her side suit. My partner, holding the Ace of Spades, understood that there was no way to ask me to lead a spade. I simply commented that I hoped I would be able to bid that well if I ever made GLM, and everyone had a good laugh.
(2) Against 6H, I made the killing lead of a spade. Declarer grimly called for the Ace from dummy, and resigned herself to the losing trump finesse. I returned a harmless club, so declarer pulled trumps and claimed. Why didn't I lead another spade? Alas, I had a singleton! We all had a good laugh.

Ideally I would ignore the percentages on each board but it is difficult
if I am North and so have to fill in the bridgemate, then everyone wants
to see the result, followed by partner who wants to know how we did,
then the usual "we got this, that, the other" by someone at the table.
If I sit east it is easier but even then, people at the table like to
look at then verbally announce the percentage, making wilful ignorance
very difficult. If I can ignore the board by board scores I do find it
helps my mood.

[p***@infi.net]

Post by Adam Lea

Post by p***@infi.net

Post by Adam Lea
Last Friday evening, I was directing at my local club and was playing
with a scratch partner, who is lovely, but we had one of those evenings
where everything seemed to go wrong. Almost every time I had one of two
seemingly reasonable choices to make, I made the one which gave us a bad
score. I had rather poor hands on average throughout the evening and the
opponents bid pretty much everything that was there for them, and I
frequently ended up defending with a plan that looked like taking off
their contract, only to find it was cold all along. Partner did a couple
of strange things which explained a couple of bad scores but largely, it
was a case of pass,pass,pass,pass,lead,follow suit,follow suit,follow
suit,BOTTOM. 9 out of 26 boards were less than 20%, and 19 out of 26
boards were less than or equal to 50%, with only 6 boards over 60%. We
finished the evening with 38% which is the lowest score for me so far
this year, and I think the lowest for many years. I felt increasingly
frustrated as the evening and it ultimately showed, the opponents
teasing me about this just made me feel worse. Can anyone suggest how to
get over it when I am having a real downer of an evening, and would some
people be ok with helping me out on the occasional hand where I really
did not know how I could have done better, or where my logic was wrong?
The only saving grace I can think of is that evenings that bad are very
rare, and next time it will be better. 38% is an extremely poor result
for me as a rule, I am not an expert player but at the same time I am
not THAT bad.
Thanks
Adam

I tend to play each hand on its own, and not worry about how well we are doing. The last time I had a 38% game was with a Gold Life Master as partner. We left the game laughing at ourselves. If you made reasonable choices, don't worry too much about the results.
(1) The day our club decided to celebrate our Gold Life Masters, I found myself on lead against 7H on an auction where our two GLM opponents had bid clubs, diamonds, hearts, Blackwood and finally the grand. I followed the usual advice of leading a "safe" trump against a grand, but when dummy came down it was obvious that GLM North had miscounted Aces! Declarer pulled trumps and pitched spade losers on her side suit. My partner, holding the Ace of Spades, understood that there was no way to ask me to lead a spade. I simply commented that I hoped I would be able to bid that well if I ever made GLM, and everyone had a good laugh.
(2) Against 6H, I made the killing lead of a spade. Declarer grimly called for the Ace from dummy, and resigned herself to the losing trump finesse. I returned a harmless club, so declarer pulled trumps and claimed. Why didn't I lead another spade? Alas, I had a singleton! We all had a good laugh.

Ideally I would ignore the percentages on each board but it is difficult
if I am North and so have to fill in the bridgemate, then everyone wants
to see the result, followed by partner who wants to know how we did,
then the usual "we got this, that, the other" by someone at the table.
If I sit east it is easier but even then, people at the table like to
look at then verbally announce the percentage, making wilful ignorance
very difficult. If I can ignore the board by board scores I do find it
helps my mood.

Fortunately our club voted not to have the Bridgemates display percentages until the end of the session. What you describe is exactly why.

[Adam Lea]

Post by p***@infi.net

Post by Adam Lea

Post by p***@infi.net

Post by Adam Lea
Last Friday evening, I was directing at my local club and was playing
with a scratch partner, who is lovely, but we had one of those evenings
where everything seemed to go wrong. Almost every time I had one of two
seemingly reasonable choices to make, I made the one which gave us a bad
score. I had rather poor hands on average throughout the evening and the
opponents bid pretty much everything that was there for them, and I
frequently ended up defending with a plan that looked like taking off
their contract, only to find it was cold all along. Partner did a couple
of strange things which explained a couple of bad scores but largely, it
was a case of pass,pass,pass,pass,lead,follow suit,follow suit,follow
suit,BOTTOM. 9 out of 26 boards were less than 20%, and 19 out of 26
boards were less than or equal to 50%, with only 6 boards over 60%. We
finished the evening with 38% which is the lowest score for me so far
this year, and I think the lowest for many years. I felt increasingly
frustrated as the evening and it ultimately showed, the opponents
teasing me about this just made me feel worse. Can anyone suggest how to
get over it when I am having a real downer of an evening, and would some
people be ok with helping me out on the occasional hand where I really
did not know how I could have done better, or where my logic was wrong?
The only saving grace I can think of is that evenings that bad are very
rare, and next time it will be better. 38% is an extremely poor result
for me as a rule, I am not an expert player but at the same time I am
not THAT bad.
Thanks
Adam

I tend to play each hand on its own, and not worry about how well we are doing. The last time I had a 38% game was with a Gold Life Master as partner. We left the game laughing at ourselves. If you made reasonable choices, don't worry too much about the results.
(1) The day our club decided to celebrate our Gold Life Masters, I found myself on lead against 7H on an auction where our two GLM opponents had bid clubs, diamonds, hearts, Blackwood and finally the grand. I followed the usual advice of leading a "safe" trump against a grand, but when dummy came down it was obvious that GLM North had miscounted Aces! Declarer pulled trumps and pitched spade losers on her side suit. My partner, holding the Ace of Spades, understood that there was no way to ask me to lead a spade. I simply commented that I hoped I would be able to bid that well if I ever made GLM, and everyone had a good laugh.
(2) Against 6H, I made the killing lead of a spade. Declarer grimly called for the Ace from dummy, and resigned herself to the losing trump finesse. I returned a harmless club, so declarer pulled trumps and claimed. Why didn't I lead another spade? Alas, I had a singleton! We all had a good laugh.

Ideally I would ignore the percentages on each board but it is difficult
if I am North and so have to fill in the bridgemate, then everyone wants
to see the result, followed by partner who wants to know how we did,
then the usual "we got this, that, the other" by someone at the table.
If I sit east it is easier but even then, people at the table like to
look at then verbally announce the percentage, making wilful ignorance
very difficult. If I can ignore the board by board scores I do find it
helps my mood.

Fortunately our club voted not to have the Bridgemates display percentages until the end of the session. What you describe is exactly why.

Unfortunately that would not be popular at my club. What I don't
understand is people who insist on looking at and announcing the
percentage scores even when we are playing imp pairs. I was frowned at
when I once suggested the board by board % display was disabled for imps
as it is almost irrelevant. Creatures of habit I guess.

[Travis Crump]

Post by Adam Lea

Post by p***@infi.net

Post by Adam Lea

Post by p***@infi.net

Post by Adam Lea
Last Friday evening, I was directing at my local club and was playing
with a scratch partner, who is lovely, but we had one of those evenings
where everything seemed to go wrong. Almost every time I had one of two
seemingly reasonable choices to make, I made the one which gave us a bad
score. I had rather poor hands on average throughout the evening and the
opponents bid pretty much everything that was there for them, and I
frequently ended up defending with a plan that looked like taking off
their contract, only to find it was cold all along. Partner did a couple
of strange things which explained a couple of bad scores but largely, it
was a case of pass,pass,pass,pass,lead,follow suit,follow suit,follow
suit,BOTTOM. 9 out of 26 boards were less than 20%, and 19 out of 26
boards were less than or equal to 50%, with only 6 boards over 60%. We
finished the evening with 38% which is the lowest score for me so far
this year, and I think the lowest for many years. I felt increasingly
frustrated as the evening and it ultimately showed, the opponents
teasing me about this just made me feel worse. Can anyone suggest how to
get over it when I am having a real downer of an evening, and would some
people be ok with helping me out on the occasional hand where I really
did not know how I could have done better, or where my logic was wrong?
The only saving grace I can think of is that evenings that bad are very
rare, and next time it will be better. 38% is an extremely poor result
for me as a rule, I am not an expert player but at the same time I am
not THAT bad.
Thanks
Adam

I tend to play each hand on its own, and not worry about how well we
are doing. The last time I had a 38% game was with a Gold Life
Master as partner. We left the game laughing at ourselves. If you
made reasonable choices, don't worry too much about the results.
(1) The day our club decided to celebrate our Gold Life Masters, I
found myself on lead against 7H on an auction where our two GLM
opponents had bid clubs, diamonds, hearts, Blackwood and finally the
grand. I followed the usual advice of leading a "safe" trump against
a grand, but when dummy came down it was obvious that GLM North had
miscounted Aces! Declarer pulled trumps and pitched spade losers on
her side suit. My partner, holding the Ace of Spades, understood
that there was no way to ask me to lead a spade. I simply commented
that I hoped I would be able to bid that well if I ever made GLM,
and everyone had a good laugh.
(2) Against 6H, I made the killing lead of a spade. Declarer grimly
called for the Ace from dummy, and resigned herself to the losing
trump finesse. I returned a harmless club, so declarer pulled trumps
and claimed. Why didn't I lead another spade? Alas, I had a
singleton! We all had a good laugh.

Ideally I would ignore the percentages on each board but it is difficult
if I am North and so have to fill in the bridgemate, then everyone wants
to see the result, followed by partner who wants to know how we did,
then the usual "we got this, that, the other" by someone at the table.
If I sit east it is easier but even then, people at the table like to
look at then verbally announce the percentage, making wilful ignorance
very difficult. If I can ignore the board by board scores I do find it
helps my mood.

Fortunately our club voted not to have the Bridgemates display
percentages until the end of the session. What you describe is exactly
why.

Unfortunately that would not be popular at my club. What I don't
understand is people who insist on looking at and announcing the
percentage scores even when we are playing imp pairs. I was frowned at
when I once suggested the board by board % display was disabled for imps
as it is almost irrelevant. Creatures of habit I guess.

Even at MPs, the few times I saw the scores, people would comment on
them the first couple rounds. They really had no idea what they meant.

[krallison]

Post by Adam Lea
Last Friday evening, I was directing at my local club and was playing
with a scratch partner, who is lovely, but we had one of those evenings
where everything seemed to go wrong. Almost every time I had one of two
seemingly reasonable choices to make, I made the one which gave us a bad
score. I had rather poor hands on average throughout the evening and the
opponents bid pretty much everything that was there for them, and I
frequently ended up defending with a plan that looked like taking off
their contract, only to find it was cold all along. Partner did a couple
of strange things which explained a couple of bad scores but largely, it
was a case of pass,pass,pass,pass,lead,follow suit,follow suit,follow
suit,BOTTOM. 9 out of 26 boards were less than 20%, and 19 out of 26
boards were less than or equal to 50%, with only 6 boards over 60%. We
finished the evening with 38% which is the lowest score for me so far
this year, and I think the lowest for many years. I felt increasingly
frustrated as the evening and it ultimately showed, the opponents
teasing me about this just made me feel worse. Can anyone suggest how to
get over it when I am having a real downer of an evening, and would some
people be ok with helping me out on the occasional hand where I really
did not know how I could have done better, or where my logic was wrong?
The only saving grace I can think of is that evenings that bad are very
rare, and next time it will be better. 38% is an extremely poor result
for me as a rule, I am not an expert player but at the same time I am
not THAT bad.
Thanks
Adam

What I do, Adam, in such a frustrating game is look for one silver lining - one hand that was interesting for whatever reason - a squeeze, an endplay, a fine defense and try to base my experience of the game on that hand - if you look closely you should find it, even if, as you say, the hand was cold, an imaginative defense is worth remembering.

Karen

[richlp]

Post by krallison

Post by Adam Lea
Last Friday evening, I was directing at my local club and was playing
with a scratch partner, who is lovely, but we had one of those evenings
where everything seemed to go wrong. Almost every time I had one of two
seemingly reasonable choices to make, I made the one which gave us a bad
score. I had rather poor hands on average throughout the evening and the
opponents bid pretty much everything that was there for them, and I
frequently ended up defending with a plan that looked like taking off
their contract, only to find it was cold all along. Partner did a couple
of strange things which explained a couple of bad scores but largely, it
was a case of pass,pass,pass,pass,lead,follow suit,follow suit,follow
suit,BOTTOM. 9 out of 26 boards were less than 20%, and 19 out of 26
boards were less than or equal to 50%, with only 6 boards over 60%. We
finished the evening with 38% which is the lowest score for me so far
this year, and I think the lowest for many years. I felt increasingly
frustrated as the evening and it ultimately showed, the opponents
teasing me about this just made me feel worse. Can anyone suggest how to
get over it when I am having a real downer of an evening, and would some
people be ok with helping me out on the occasional hand where I really
did not know how I could have done better, or where my logic was wrong?
The only saving grace I can think of is that evenings that bad are very
rare, and next time it will be better. 38% is an extremely poor result
for me as a rule, I am not an expert player but at the same time I am
not THAT bad.
Thanks
Adam

What I do, Adam, in such a frustrating game is look for one silver lining - one hand that was interesting for whatever reason - a squeeze, an endplay, a fine defense and try to base my experience of the game on that hand - if you look closely you should find it, even if, as you say, the hand was cold, an imaginative defense is worth remembering.
Karen

That mirrors the advice I gave my 12 year old son when he first started playing golf. Look for the one hole (or even shot) where you did it exactly right. Remember that as proof that you CAN do it right and wait until you have several of those in a round. It's advice I take to heart myself and keeps flog , errrrr -- golf, enjoyable for me.